Raising kids and shipping products
How I try to balance family and building.
My kids are eight and five. They are both excellent at destroying focus.
I used to think the answer was better scheduling - protected blocks, no interruptions during deep work hours, the full productivity-system playbook. Some of that helps. But the actual answer is weirder and harder to systematize.
The real constraint
Parenting and building both require presence. They compete for the same resource, and that resource isn't time - it's attention. You can be physically at your desk but mentally in the problem from breakfast. You can be physically with your kids but already planning the next sprint.
What I've learned is that the separation has to be deliberate and clean, not just scheduled. When I'm working, I'm actually working. When I stop, I actually stop. The hardest part of that isn't the transition - it's not sneaking the phone out for "just a quick check" at dinner.
What I've given up trying to do
Ship fast all the time. There are weeks where nothing ships and that's fine. The kids won't remember how many commits I pushed in May 2026. They'll remember whether I was actually there.
The pace that's sustainable with family is slower than I'd run solo, and probably better for the products too. Rushing because you have protected time leads to decisions you undo later. The constraint teaches restraint.